“For happiness is anyone and anything at all, That’s loved by you”-You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown

What’s life if you don’t take chances. See, I am back to school to be a counselor. I had been a counselor (of sorts) before, and I remember telling someone “I’m a counselor because I believe people can change”. While I can say I’ve now seen some things, I can still say that, but someone has to want to change. I also believe if you aren’ happy in life, you should do something to change that. While I’m not a prosperity gospel type gal- I do believe we get choose some things, and those choices directly effect our happiness. Do something different. Work on yourself. Do something that makes you happy. It will be worth it. If you need counseling- DO IT (I promise, counseling is not for the weak, I actually believe it’s for the strong). I have a counselor. It’s awesome. I recommend it for people who don’t even have major issues. It’s just nice to have an unbiased ear to talk to. I’m often reminded of the lyrics to the song “Happiness” from Your a Good Man Charlie Brown.

Happiness is finding a pencil
Pizza with sausage
Telling the time
Happiness is learning to whistle
Tying your shoe for the very first time
Happiness is playing the drum in your own school band
And happiness is walking hand in hand
Happiness is two kinds of ice cream
Knowing a secret
Climbing a tree
Happiness is five different crayons
Catching a firefly
Setting him free
Happiness is being alone every now and then.
And happiness is coming home again
Happiness is morning and evening
Daytime and nighttime too
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That’s loved by you
Happiness is having a sister
Sharing a sandwich
Getting along
Happiness is singing together when day is through
And happiness is those who sing with you
Happiness is morning and evening
Daytime and nighttime too
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That’s loved by you
-You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.


These are all little things, but tell me you didn’t smile while you read this-thinking about your own life or childhood.So, do something that makes you happy. What makes you happy?

me? well I enjoy going to Costco by myself. I know- but there is something therapeutic about wandering around that store aimlessly. It’s much less fun when you have kids with you, eating all the samples you got for yourself. I also really enjoy working out. I hate it while I’m doing it, and I either go with a friend (one who doesn’t judge- really is there any other kind of actual friend?) or I bring Harry Potter audiobooks. I’m know. Go ahead and judge me, or copy me.

These things make me happy.

Find something that makes you happy. And for goodness sake. DO IT.


I’ve spent a lot of my life being who I thought someone would want me to. That someone could be my parents, brothers, friends, boyfriend, husband, teacher, you name the person, I had an idea of who they wanted me to be, and I would try my best to be that person. Do you know what that does to a person? In the midst of utter chaos, it will leave you lost.

It’s not any of those people’s fault. I am the person who wanted to please. I am the one who wanted to be perfect and be everything to everyone. The truth is, I am replaceable in many areas of life. When I left my job after having Clara, REPLACED, when I quit playing piano at church, REPLACED, ect… do you see where I’m going? In most areas of your life, there is going to be someone to pick up the slack, whether they are worse at it than you, or better than you. My experience is they are usually better than me and then I have to come up with some reason why that person is more successful than me.  I never realized this about myself before. I knew I wanted people to like me. I thought everyone felt that way, so obviously I was normal and just like everyone else.

Fast forward to me sitting in counseling and telling my therapist about all the problems with my peoples.

He says “Who is taking care of Kim?”

This may come as a surprise, but he asked me this pretty much every time I came to see him. I didn’t know that he could see it, but he knew. I was lost. I was physically ok, but otherwise I was lost. There was chaos swirling around me, I couldn’t see the ground, and I had spent my entire marriage trying to be the person my husband wanted me to be, that when it all came crashing down, I was lost. I had 3 kids under 3. I got that, change diapers, feed people, don’t cry in front of them, be a good mom. So I was mom. I wasn’t wife anymore. I had spent the past 3-4 years trying to be exactly what this man wanted me to be, and now I didn’t know what to do. I was lost. Barely treading water. Who was I? Who was Kim? When he asked me “Who is taking care of Kim?” I think he might have also been asking “Who is Kim?”

Honestly. I am still figuring parts of it out. There are constants. Things that are intrinsic that have gotten stronger, and taken more root. That is my faith in Christ. There is no way I would be able to even stand up or be alive through all this without Him. He has been my Rock. The Lord has blessed me immeasurably through friendships, he’s humbled me, he has shown me how much he loves me through all the mess. He has answered so many prayers. He has asked me to reach out and ask people for prayer (I felt so uncomfortable doing it, and then He answered my prayer!). I can’t say enough that I know God is real, and that He loves me, and that He has big plans for my kids, cause He got them here in a big hurry.   My family. They have stood by me, and been there for me. We have only gotten stronger. My besties. They have seen me in my worst. The worst. I’ve said mean things shown them just plain ugly sides of myself, and they have shown me nothing but grace, love, and support. I can say that my foundations are really strong. If you don’t have a strong foundation, you need to get one.

The things I want and need to figure out about myself are things that I always did for other people that I should have been doing for myself. I am gonna do the things I wanted to do before I decided to be who my husband wanted me to be. I love being a mom. I love those crazy little monsters. But, what kind of example am I setting for them, if I don’t show them that you get to have a life and be your own person? I don’t have to be nothing else and just be mom. That isn’t my identity. I need to be me. I can dye my hair purple and have sleeve tats, and at the same time be a good mom too. I’m pretty sure purple hair and sleeve tats is not this gal right here, but you get my point. I have however already dyed my hair rose gold, and the next round I think it will be a little more pink than this round! What is my style? What do I want to be when I grow up (I know, I’m 30, but give me a break people!)? What’s on my bucket list? What do I want? NOT What does the other person want. WHAT DO I WANT? I’m not trying to be selfish. I’m trying to decide. That’s not wrong. I’m just gonna do me.  I know. Most people did this when they went to college at 18. I’m a little late to the game. I want to go to dinner with my friends, and I want a life that is not just about kids, or spouses. I want to have interests and things that don’t just revolve around other people. Is that too much to ask? I need to find myself. I need to get unlost.