2019. BRING IT.

Last year I wrote on NYE my goals for 2018;

So what I am hoping for in 2018

  1. Workout 4 times a week or more. Move intentionally everyday
  2. yell less at my kids
  3. cope/deal with my crazy ex husband better
  4. Pass the NCE and begin work as a LPC
  5. Continue my self-care journey
  6. play more music

I can say I did all this. With the exception of working as an LPC but that is on it’s way and going about as fast as anyone could ever hope. So 2018 I kicked your ass, and while the ending didn’t go as planned (I’ve got a dooooooozy of a post about my ex for you coming up soon), overall I took 2018 for all it had. I might have even met a special guy. Just maybe.

2018 was a year of a lot of change. I started off the year as a newly divorced woman. I did what most newly divorced people do and I created an online dating profile. I do not recommend this. All I need to say is there is a reason most people who are still single and over 30 are still single. Not everyone falls into that category, of course, you are the exception, I’m talking about all the other weirdos out there. I digress.

2018 I did the bulk of my work in my masters program in professional counseling. By June I was working at a PHP/IOP center for 5-18 year kids with mental, emotional, and behavioral issues. It was eye opening, and honestly, I got way more education than most of my classmates being in that environment. It was sink or swim. I love the fast pace intensity of it, and I do like working with kids. I finished up my practicum in November, and GRADUATED on November 16, 2018 with my Master of Arts in Professional Counseling. SO…Basically pretty soon when I write my name I will get to write all kinds of letters and stuff behind it.

I am gonna brag on myself. I did this while being a single mother to 3 preschoolers. 3 PRESCHOOLERS. I have 3 tiny people I take care of all the time. The twins are now almost 3.5 and Clara is a little of 4.5. I am freakin’ proud of myself for accomplishing this.

There is all this stuff you have to do after you graduate to become a licensed professional counselor, and I will save all that for a blog post because….it was intense. I have a lot of feelings, and honestly, the process isn’t over, so I’m not ready to write it all out.

2019 resolutions:

  1. Change my contact lenses when I’m supposed to
  2. use face/eye masks more often
  3. take more baths
  4. do more things that make me happy
  5. say no to more things that I want to say  no to.

Peace out 2017

This year kicked my ass, but if I’m being honest, I feel like I kicked it’s ass in return. 

Here I am, alone on New Year’s Eve, sitting in bed at 10pm getting ready to go to sleep. I’m thinking about all the things that happened this year.  This year kicked my ass, but if I’m being honest, I feel like I kicked it’s ass in return.

It kicked my ass.

  1. My stress levels are through the roof, I don’t sleep much
  2. I went to court 3 times for divorce hearings
  3. I finally got divorced on Dec 27th (judge signed the papers and all)
  4. I have a low self-image view.
  5. I’ve been battling depression all year
  6. My son began having developmental delays

I kicked it’s ass

  1. I took and completed 8 graduate courses and got A’s in every single one of them
  2. I got divorced
  3. I elimated toxic products from my life
  4. I work out 3 times a week
  5. I have a better relationship with food (minus this holiday season)
  6. I survived
  7. My kids survived
  8. My son is kicking his delays in the butt. He is working hard.

Overall I feel like the working out has helped me psychologically cope with all the stress. I still struggle though. For example today, I asked my ex to not take the kids to a certain place (cause GERMS). They have been sick since Thanksgiving and I really want them to be better by the time they go back to school. He lied to me. I lost it. It’s stupid, and I am still fuming about it. I hope that one day I will be able to let these things roll off, and I have to remember that once a liar always a liar. He is not going to change. He took them there against my urging him not to, and this was after he switched his time cause he had “new year eve’s” plans. I had plans to be married and not living with my parents at the age of 31. Kids change things and you have to adjust.  I know I need to give myself time, and I need to continue working on forgiving him. I’m scared I’ll never get there. I will be this bitter old woman who held onto hurt and abuse her whole life, and never allowed herself to be happy again, punishing myself for making such a poor choice in a partner.

So what I am hoping for in 2018

  1. Workout 4 times a week or more. Move intentionally everyday
  2. yell less at my kids
  3. cope/deal with my crazy ex husband better
  4. Pass the NCE and begin work as a LPC
  5. Continue my self-care journey
  6. play more music